More tales from real life

Me: *reading in hallway at school*
Woman: *sitting across from me and pushing same button on phone with volume up over and over again for several minutes*
Me: *series of eye rolls and audible sighing*
Woman: *adds mouth generated laser noises into the mix*
Me: Are you kidding me?
Woman: Whaa?
Me: Could you switch your phone to silent, please?
Woman: My phone don't have that.
Me: I'll bet you a thousand dollars I can silence that phone.
Woman: I don't wanchu tuchin ma PHONE.
Me: You're probably right.